Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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