Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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