i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Randomize
