she woke up with a sticky ear
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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