I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
