I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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