You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
