I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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