so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
