hell yes lets make some ravioli
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
