i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Randomize
