thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize