I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
