Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
it was like eating out sand paper
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
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