do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
