The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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