My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
