Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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