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I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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