My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
