his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
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