super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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