You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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