Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize