I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
