Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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