She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
