Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
