I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
