I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
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I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
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the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
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