I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
