whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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