He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
