What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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