Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
