Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
