She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
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I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
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I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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