please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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