one word: firstdatebathroomanal
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
