Christians are straight up FREAKS
Your dad touched me again.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
