please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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