My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
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A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
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I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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