i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
