Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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