I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
