You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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