Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize