i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize