I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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