I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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