Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
