The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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