I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize