she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
