I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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