My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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