those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
